Lazarus and the Rich Man

This Sunday our pastor discussed the parable of Lazarus and the rich man. He explained how Lazarus had God's favor because in his state of constant need, he was always seeking God, as opposed to how the rich man hardly noticed his need for God because he was satiated by his own physical wealth. How often do we run desperately to God when our stomachs are full, when our bodies are well clothed. Maybe that's why Jesus said that the poor were blessed because they knew more about the Kingdom of Heaven than the wealthy. Maybe that's why Jesus prayed for a daily portion of bread instead of a month's supply, so that He would be drawn daily to seek and savor His King. I think we're finally coming to a place in our home of thankfulness for an income that requires us to depend on His daily provision to make things work. We have testimony after testimony to remind us of His lovingkindness, and, although we don't want to always be in physical need - who does! -, we ALWAYS want to yearn for Him more and more daily.

Taking another twist on this parable, I wonder if I truly have considered the plight of the poor man. No, not the physically impoverished man, but the poor man who does not know my Savior. I have done the same as the rich man, watching my unbelieving neighbors lie at the gates, allowing dogs to lick their sores, and doing nothing. I am that rich man who was satisfied in his ignorance. I watch my neighbors walk by every day and do not concern myself with the state of their souls, leaving them to starve right outside of my table of feasts that I share with the Savior. What a disgrace! What a shame!

Today, I will commit to seeking out my neighbor's heart, to training up my children in doing the same, and to pray daily for God's saving grace to come to the hearts of those in our community. Today we baked cookies and took them to a new neighbor who moved in to our community in an attempt to build a relationship, to inquire of their heart, to give them the greatest gift there is. The neighbors weren't there, but we left cookies and a note. I don't want to be confused about my role here. I can't force them the choose Christ, but if I love God's people, then I must sow the seeds of the gospel for them.

Josh said this well in a previous sermon, and I think it's relevant here: that we should

"never measure success by the number of people in seats [at church]. You will measure success by the number of times you scatter the gospel."

A great word yesterday. Thank you Lord for the Word of Truth.

Baby Update

We are blessed beyond measure! Currently I am in my 31st week of pregnancy. This technically means that I have 9 weeks left until we find ourselves deep in the trenches of hard labor and - following that - sweet, sweet moments of learning all that we can about this new gift that is joining our family. We are ELATED! We are looking forward to the wiggly, wrinkled feet and the newborn cries, the adrenaline induced rush the first two days after delivery that holds you through until you finally get an ounce of sleep, the precious moments of watching him breathe and knowing that every single breath of his belongs to God. What amazing times that God gives us, showing us new life and how He - only He - has ordained every aspect of it! Like I said, we are blessed beyond measure, undoubtedly!

My health has maintained so much better than it ever has in previous pregnancies. Blood pressure, swelling, weight gain, preterm contractions, back pain, heartburn - every aspect has been right on target and exponentially easier this time around. Just within the last few days, I have been overcome by a voracious appetite! It's been kinda fun and something strange to laugh at!!! A family at church is hosting a baby shower for us, and we could not be more thankful. This is yet another example of God providing for the needs of his children. He has been so faithful. We should be getting an ultrasound at 37 weeks to see how big the baby is. The doctor is concerned that the baby might be bigger than Ben (9 1/2 lbs at 39 weeks) was and wants to avoid any dangers that may come with birthing a bigger baby. I feel like this child is not as large as Benjamin was, but we will find out in about 6 weeks after an ultrasound.

I want to express sincere thanks for those who have lifted our family up in prayer these last few months. I would love to get into details about all the sweet ways God has answered our prayers, but for now, know that I am home, caring for my children and home and learning how to give my life and heart and energy to knowing God and making Him known in our home. This is humbling and simply wonderful.

I think that is it for now. Thanks for reading!

Calm before the Storm and Benjamin

Well, let's just start out by saying that my last post was definitely not a reflection of what followed in the week! It was clearly the calm before the storm in many, many ways. Following the sweet, slow, quiet moments were storms of really hard physical and emotional work! The heat has taken its toll on me in so many ways this summer, and it is taking far more than a day to recover from one day of work. This is causing my children and husband and home to suffer because, like I said, I am still working on bringing that last priority into its place. So, although my children, husband and home deserve the energy, it doesn't seem logical to me to call someone on their day off to fill my shift because "I don't feel good." I'm praying about this. I don't know what else to do. I DO know that I will not be hasty to pick up extra shifts when I do get time off. It will be something I begin to protect.



Today Benjamin taught me about how we deal with God when we're in need. This morning, after bath time - yes, baths in the morning. When I work so late at night, they get straight into bed! - Benjamin began whining, and I got him a glass of milk, but not just regular milk, chocolate milk, because I wanted him to really enjoy it today. Benjamin -clearly thirsty- lifted this milk to his mouth and drank it, every last drop. When he finished, he threw the cup to the floor and out of his mouth came a loud, "Ehhhhhhhhhh". Music to a mother's ears. He is still learning to talk, so I've been working with him. "More milk please?" I say to him. "EHHHHHHHH!" He says louder and acts annoyed that I'm not running to his request for "ehh". At this point, I see that my son has had all that he needs. He is still unsatisfied and needs to rest. I put my whiny boy in his crib, and he still whines, a bit, but within mere minutes he lulls off into sleep, satisfied and sweet.

When Ben threw his cup to the floor and whined after finishing his milk, I thought "How often do I forget God's provision when I am in need again?" "How often do I whine when trouble comes my way without looking back to His sweet kindness to me?" I also think about times when He graciously gives us things that we don't really want, like naps, but that we clearly are in need of. Lord help us to remember you in times of plenty and in times of few. Help us to lift you up in praise when we are tired and weary, and when we are strong and energized. Give us a great memory of your lovingkindness. And teach us not to throw our cups to the floor and whine when things get rough!

Priorities and Provision

I am certain that time will just escape me now that I am sitting down to write, but I am just shocked at how God has structured this day today. I have had many things to do, and, once I completed those tasks, I actually have time to sit and write! It is amazing to me! The children are napping! The floors are mopped and vacuumed! The carpet floor has been scrubbed for spots. The dishes are done and laundry is in the drier. The walls are wiped down and ready for painters to come in an paint an accent wall (courtesy of the apartment complex for renewing our lease. It also helps that there are crayon markings ALL OVER that particular wall from sweet children who took advantage of an ill parent one day last week!) Let me just run down a list of what God has blessed us with:

Time. I am finding more time in my days to do a daily quiet time and to spend time each evening in meditation, prayer, and reading. Nothing has changed as far as our work load. Nathan still is working two jobs and I have recently been promoted as a supervisor at my work. Nathan is also still taking classes, so this fresh sweet time we've been given to know Him better is a gift, and I do not know where it came from. Although I will add that the television has been disconnected from the antenna for over a month now, and we could not be happier about it!

The van is still a blessing to us. Because of the size of the vehicle, we have been able to fill it with other things that we'll need for the new baby. Just last week we were able to take home the following things that God provided:
A toddler bed for Benjamin so that the crib will be available for the new baby
A high chair for the new baby

It has been truly amazing how our needs have been met during this season. I could be searching for hours and hours on craigslist, and instead I have the honor and privilege of blogging about how God is faithful!

He is also showing me different ways that I need to rearrange my priorities at work and at home. On my refrigerator is a list (because I need constant reminders) of the things that are the most important responsibilities I have here on earth:

1. Daily Quiet Times (morning and evening). I can't be legalistic about having a quiet time two times a day, but there is nothing better than delighting in God's word and knowing Him and trusting Him. The most important thing we can do here on earth is to Know God, to accept His righteousness that has been given to us through Christ, to honor and enjoy Him all of our days in all of our circumstances. This has incredibly impacted my thought life, my awareness of spiritual warfare, my faith, and more. This scripture speaks plainly on the man who meditates on God's word day and night and cherishes His laws.

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
2But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
3He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.
Psalm 1:1-3

2. Development of my Family. Being intentional as a wife and a mother to encourage and support my husband and to train my children in faith and in life. In going through the Old Testament, you can find time and time again references of bad kings whose mothers did not love God wholeheartedly. Mothers have an incredible responsibility and influence on the direction of the lives of their children. We must be intentional to teach them about God while they are young. I am trying to understand what this looks like fleshed out and to determine what steps to take and how to organize our days so that this is number 2 in our lives. My husband also needs me to be a diligent helper, to be quick to encourage and slow to complain. He needs me to pray for him and with him and to submit to his requests without complaint.

3. Care of my Home. I have a responsibility to be a caretaker of the home I've been given. This will allow for ministry to continue to flow within our family without distractions from as much illness or clutter. This will give us the freedom to open our home to the community and give of ourselves in other ways. This is a work in progress right now, but Carolyn Mahaney is helping me to understand how to take great joy in working in the home, how to seek opportunities for teaching at every moment, and the freedom that exists when a home is well maintained.

4. Responsibilities at Work. Right now its my role to be an encourager to moms who work with me and to keep them organized and on task. This is something that I could spend all day every day working on. There is a black hole of progress that could be made in this area to lead these women and this child care center toward excellence, but because this is not my number one priority, I have been trying to put first things first. I still find myself doing more than I should and thanking God for showing me where I err (usually through the words of my mother!). I trust that He will grow the center and instill excellence in it as I devote myself to Him and His excellence.


Nathan begins his new job next week, and he is VERY excited about it. The kids are going to enjoy Him so much once he's home! I believe that is it for today! Off to work for the night!

Though the Earth Give Way

God is good, all of the time. He firmly displays the power of His strong hand. He covers our bodies with protection through the storm. He moves the winds and the rain to save his people. He builds a fortress around his children.
Tonight is the eve following a catastrophic storm at Union University in Jackson, TN. This was my alma mater. I met my husband at this school and we courted, fell in love, and planned our lives together all while at Union. I was a resident advisor at Union and remember enduring 3 tornados in Jackson, TN in one year. Two of the tornadoes were powerful enough to cause extensive damage and terrorize frightened young girls who were just learning how to live without the protection of their parents. The great damage caused during those storms (millions of dollars worth) is easily shadowed by last night's devastating storm. Many students were trapped by the buildings caving in all around them. Cars were strewn on top of cars (many, not just here and there). 20% of the dorms are liveable now. Buildings were destroyed. The power of the storm is unimaginable. But all students survived. God had His strong hand on His people. God kept the bathroom walls surrounding his frightened children intact while everything around them crumbled. It is illogical when you look at the pictures and see walls stripped completely from buildings, roofs gone, and the bathroom walls are still strong and stable.

Yes, we know that God could surely have taken people home last night. He could've done whatever He wanted to do. All He does is to draw His people to Himself. Last night He protected the people of Union University. They faced a storm and ran to God, their "refuge and strength"

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.

Psalm 46: 1, 2

Their Bibles were opened as the fierce winds attacked and their voices raised in prayer and petition for their lives, for protection, for God's glory in the midst of suffering. Their prayers were answered.

And today, my earth gave way in a manner of speaking. God brought to my attention that it is not my job to fix everything and that God is perfectly capable (that doesn't do Him justice!) to take care of things on His own time and in His own way. He showed me this by allowing a circumstance that I can do nothing about. Benjamin is sick and will need outpatient surgery. It breaks my heart that he is so sick. It also hurts to know that I cannot fix it for him or take it from him. God has given him such stamina. I want my son to be well, but I also want to know God, to know what he is doing with these circumstances to show Himself to us. I know that God wants me to see Him, to grow with Him, to trust myself less and Him more. I weep as my empty hands have nothing to offer my suffering son. But God's hands are strong and His supply is endless. He is the protector and provider, creator of all things, and He will provide in this circumstance as well. He promises to never leave or forsake His children. He has plans for Benjamin's life that will bring glory to His name. If that includes deafness, then God will do it. If that includes a full recovery and miraculous healing, then God WILL do it. And I will pray that God's name be honored in the midst of this, that God increase our faith in HIS all sufficient power.

These everyday, physical needs, pains, desires encompass so much of our life, but Christ has SO much more to offer. He offers water that, once we drink of it, we will never thirst again. He has salve for our spiritual eyes and spiritual food that is fulfilling and rich. He offers life, eternal with His Holy father. True rest and a heart that is at peace. Lord, I want all you have to offer and more! Saturate our family with spiritual blessings. Continue to give us opportunities to run to you, whatever it takes.