What Noah Did NOT Say

Nathan and I were lying in bed last night laughing at the way Noah tries to sneak in bad words throughout the day by talking about not saying them. I knew I needed to write these memories down before I lost them. He is such a funny kid.

We have each of the following conversations about three times a day.

Hey Mommy?
Yes Noah.
I not gonna say shuddup.
No, you're not going to say that.
No, I not. Shuddup is NOT nice. We don't say shuddup.
....

Mommy, can I say what da heck?
No Noah. We can't say that. That's not nice.
Okay. I not say what da heck...

But K* says what da heck.
Yes he does, and that is not nice either.
Okay. I not say what da heck.
...

Mommy! I didn't tell him to GET oudda here!
That's so good Noah. Thank you for being sweet!
It's not nice to say HEY YOU GET OUDDA HERE.
That's right. That's not nice. Have you been in trouble for doing that before?
(annoyed groan) yessss
I am so glad you didn't say that to that nice man. You were sweet to him.
...

Mommy?
Yes Noah.
I not say I'm the boss.
Good, Noah because you're not the boss.
Daddy's the boss.
Mommy and Daddy are both the boss of you.
Yyyyep.
...

Mommy? I'm not gonna to say shuddup.
That's a good idea son.
I not gonna to say what da heck eiver. And I'm not gonna say HEY YOU! GET OUDDA HERE! That's not nice.
No, Noah, that is not nice at all.
Mommy, Can I say shakalaka?
Baby (giggling on the inside), you probably shouldn't say "shakalaka" anymore because your daddy and I keep thinking you're saying a bad word.
(annoyed sigh) okay. And I'm not the boss.
No you're not honey. (trying my darnedest not to show my tickled side.)