Today is a good day. Today we wait in hope for what God will do, how He will claim his fame, how He will continue to prove His outstanding, unending, gracious love and power to a people who do not know Him. Today we experience hardship and anguish. Today our heart pangs for resolution to a deep conflict in which there seems no hope. Someday, I'll write more. Someday, I'll lay out every detail on the line in joyful thanks. But the chapter to this story isn't over yet, and I want more than anything to be able to tell this story with the resolution because our struggles are not in vain. God is doing something in our family, and, even as I don't know what, and, even as I stand tear-stained with no answers, I know that these struggles are fleeting and that they are light and momentary. I know that God is doing things greater than our small family. It is so exciting to hope for what He has in store for us. I'll admit that I'm writing this knowing that I'll have to go back and re-read this for some of my "weaker moments", when I may give in to fear and lose hope, but I have no good reason to do that! We know that there will be a day that He will wipe every tear from [our] eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. And we wait with hope. I will tell you the story soon, and you will be amazed. I will be amazed because I know this:
the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!
So I don't know what His resolution is. But if it has anything to do with being closer to Him, I'm in. I know that He will feed and clothe our family. I know that He will give us our daily bread. That doesn't mean that it will be easy or luxurious. Jesus said that His bread was to do the will of His father. Not merely for the sake of righteousness, but because He loved His father, and His father loved Him, and His father's will was the best thing for Him. Our pastor said in his sermon the other day, "Whenever scripture says, "Don't", see it as God saying, "Don't hurt yourself." I love that! We have a protective father who pleads with His children to pursue what is best for them: Himself!
So no matter what, we're here, waiting on the Lord. It makes me even more excited to be at home with the Lord, without the struggle. But it makes the struggle worth it because I know there is much gained through hardship.
Come soon, Lord Jesus, and show your power once again!
Here is our song:
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.
I wait for you, O LORD; you will answer, O Lord my God.
I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
I wait for your salvation, O LORD, and I follow your commands.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
He who testifies to these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon."
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
Again, a baby waking interrupts this post. So I'll end here. Please excuse the unedited version. That's all I can offer right now!